Leak Review: Flight of the Conchords' I TOLD YOU I WAS FREAKY

This article originally appeared on Pegleg Spinners, 9/15/09.

You know you've really made it when people care about your work enough to steal it on the internet. Two weeks ago I wrote a post on Jay-Z's new album, but I didn't provide a full-fledged review because I was writing only days after the record had leaked and didn't feel like I had enough time to fairly judge it as a whole. Now here I am with a full-fledged review of New Zealand acoustic digi-folk parody duo Flight of the Conchords' second album, I Told You I Was Freaky, which leaked less than two weeks ago. Am I just a massive hypocrite? Click the jump to find out!

Answer: Yes, probably, but in this case I have an excuse, which is that I can review this album because I heard most of its material months ago in the second season of the Conchords' TV show. A few of the tracks (for example, "Hurt Feelings" and the title song) have new vocals or verses added on, but the album is mostly made up of the original recordings which were used on the show (in contrast to the band's first, self-titled album, which featured totally new versions of a few tunes).

Kind of like how Sam and I spend our free time.

On the one hand, this makes some sense; the recordings sound pretty crisp, so why bother doing them all over again? On the other hand, though, some new material might've made the album more interesting to fans of the show who are already familiar with the songs. The Conchords tend to add new lyrical twists and improvisations into each performance of a song (which is one reason why their live shows are so much fun--for more on that, check out my gushing fanboy review). Also, it would've been nice to have a studio recording of the longer, much funnier version of "Petrov, Yelyena and Me"--or of "Bus Driver Song," which the TV show inexplicably omitted despite spending a whole episode setting it up.

But whatever. Songs are songs, new or old, and the real question about I Told You I Was Freaky is, how good are said songs? Unfortunately, those who watch the show or have paid attention to the show's buzz should be able to guess that, like the second season, the Conchords' second album is a bit of a letdown. Yes, there are some high points, like "Feelings," "Freaky" and the wonderful "Carol Brown." There are also a few songs that are nice to listen to despite not being all that funny ("Demon Woman," "You Don't Have to Be a Prostitute"). However, there are also songs like "Rambling Through the Avenues of Time" and "Fashion Is Danger" that are just lame, and overall the selections just aren't as assured and nimble as they were in the first season/album. This sophomore effort isn't godawful, and it's worth getting if you're a fan of the show/band, but it's a definite step downward.

You can go to this post if you want my full review of the TV show, but, to be concise, I always enjoyed it less than the Conchords' songs alone. I can do without a third season if it means that the band gets to pursue different, more interesting projects--like, for example, an album of non-show material. Murray, are you listening?

What to Watch After THE WIRE? Try THE CORNER

This article originally appeared on Pegleg Spinners, 8/30/09.

"When you get that first shot of dope," says diseased drug addict Fat Curt in one of The Corner's mock-interview scenes, "it's the best motherfucking feeling in your life. It's better than sex. And every time after that, you looking for the first time. Over and over again."

If art is also a drug, then HBO's acclaimed crime series The Wire is, for many viewers, a first shot of truly great television storytelling. (I know those of you who haven't watched the show may be sick of hearing how good it is, but seriously, it's amazing.) After the credits roll on the series finale, many viewers are left wondering where to go next. Are there any shows out there that can match The Wire's authenticity, boldness and overall excellence?

In my search for such a show I discovered the HBO miniseries The Corner, which was a direct ancestor and, in a sense, prototype of The Wire. Aired in 2000, two years before The Wire's premiere, The Corner is based (fairly faithfully) on a nonfiction book by Wire creators David Simon and Ed Burns and shares many cast and crew members with its later, five-season counterpart. Look, there's Prop Joe (Robert F. Chew) as a shoe salesman! There's Lieutenant Daniels (Lance Reddick) as a recovering drug addict! There's Detective Sydnor (Corey Parker Robinson) as a basketball-obsessed corner boy! And there are familiar names behind the scenes as well, most notably that of executive producer Robert Colesberry, who produced The Wire and shows up here in a cameo as a judge.

Clarke Peters (a.k.a. Detective Freamon) as Fat Curt

The Corner's story revolves around a year in the life of an inner-city Baltimore neighborhood, and focuses specifically on three members of a sort-of family: Gary McCullough (T. K. Carter), a formerly middle-class heroin addict who spends his days either scheming to scrape together money for a blast or regretfully wondering what's become of his community and himself; Fran Boyd (Khandi Alexander), Gary's ex-wife, also an addict but trying to get herself clean; and DeAndre McCullough (Sean Nelson), son of Gary and Fran, a teenage boy who dabbles in drug dealing and impregnates his girlfriend. The Corner is what The Wire would have been if The Wire focused mainly on Bubbles, so, as you might guess, it can make for a pretty harsh viewing experience. I'm not sure which scenes are harder to watch: Those in which the camera lingers on a needle entering a dope fiend's vein (and there are a lot of those), or those in which an addict betrays his or her closest friends and family members for a single shot of powder (and there are a lot of those too).

As in The Wire, however, the saving grace in all of this misery is the show's compassion and affection for its characters. DeAndre cheats on his girlfriend, but he also encourages Fran when she enters detox. Gary may steal DeAndre's stash of drugs, but he also makes sure to visit when Fat Curt enters the hospital. The characters are human beings, not cartoonish heroes and villains, and they have to be, because that's the point of the show. Above all else, The Corner aims to remind its viewers that no matter how messed-up America's inner cities may be, the people who live there are still people. The terrific performances of the show's actors (especially T. K. Carter, who makes the sad-eyed Gary into one of TV's most heartbreaking characters) serve to drive that point home.

Like Simon and Burns' other HBO miniseries, Generation Kill, The Corner is never quite as addictively gripping as The Wire, simply because it's bound by the limitations of nonfiction. As narrator Charles S. Dutton (who also directed The Corner) notes in the last episode, a year is an arbitrary amount of time; if the writers are staying true to life, they can't force their various subplots to climax and be resolved by December 31st. Still, each of the six hour-long episodes is engaging and well-made, and the closing epilogue, which features an interview with some of the real people on whom the show was based (though no musical montage), provides as much closure as you can expect from this kind of story.

In the end, The Corner isn't quite as entertaining as The Wire, and it certainly isn't as all-encompassing, but it is equally intelligent and heartfelt. I won't say it's better than sex, but at the very least, it's a great way to spend six hours while we wait for the premiere of Treme.

Brains, Brawn and Prawn: A Review of DISTRICT 9

This article originally appeared on Pegleg Spinners, 8/21/09.

No trend should ever be trusted, especially not in Hollywood. So-called "genre" entertainment (i.e. sci-fi, horror, fantasy, etc.) has always been a staple of mainstream American cinema, but in the last decade the movie industry has become increasingly infatuated with nerd culture. Around the turn of the millenium comic-book adaptations (usually based around superheroes) started earning big money at the box office, partly because of the intense loyalty and engagement of the adapted properties' fans. Ever since then studio executives have been scouring comic shops and internet forums in search of new material. This approach has admittedly yielded some worthwhile results, but it's also quickly becoming a form of cultural strip-mining. These days, films based in nerd culture tend more and more to be pointless, self-indulgent or outright exploitative.

Which brings us to District 9, a new film not based on any existing property but still waving its nerd flag high via its extraterrestrial subject matter and the prominent involvement of Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson. I was looking forward to this movie, but I couldn't help but fear that it was going to fall victim to the excesses of its subculture.

Thankfully, it doesn't; rather, it's an upstanding example of what genre storytelling can be. That is to say, it may be a film by nerds, but it's for everyone, and although it has flaws, it still puts most of its contemporaries to shame.

The plot revolves around a South African refugee camp full of shrimp-like aliens referred to derogatorily as "prawns," whose spaceship has apparently stalled above Johannesburg. When the government hires a sinister corporation, Multi-National United, to transfer the aliens to a more isolated area, a well-intentioned but clueless MNU manager named Wikus stumbles upon a mysterious container of alien fluid. The previews don't give away much more than that, and I won't either.

Actually, this scene isn't in the movie. Damn you, viral marketing!

The film works partly because while it is unashamedly sci-fi, it's also thoughtfully engaged with the real world. Many genre properties are content to rely on generic, navel-gazing storylines about young nerdy men trying to prove themselves, but District 9 uses its premise to comment on racism and the problems facing refugee communities. It's disturbing to see even the insectile prawns getting abused by MNU thugs, but unfortunately it's not hard to imagine impoverished humans receiving the same treatment.

The story is also refreshingly fair to its characters, especially Wikus, who is neither a heart-of-gold hero nor a mean-spirited caricature. The viewer (or, at least, this viewer) is constantly torn between scorning Wikus's obliviousness and sympathizing with the horrible situation he finds himself in. Some of the prawns, including one with the incongruous name of Christopher Johnson, are also given nuanced personalities.

Best of all, none of this prevents the film from being fun to watch. The social commentary, character-driven story and action set pieces work in concert rather than getting in each other's way, and fight scenes/car chases/etc. are shot in a way that actually allows the viewer to see what's going on, unlike most modern action sequences.

As I said, of course, the film isn't perfect, and its main flaw lies in its awkward combination of documentary-style footage and a more conventional omniscient point of view. The documentary scenes, which are gimmicky and seem to exist mainly as an excuse for using a less expensive film stock, should have been eliminated or at least limited to the opening exposition (which is already too rushed and blunt). Also, the screenplay should occasionally be subtler; for example, we'll dislike the brutish military villain enough without hearing him say, "I love watching prawns die."

Still, District 9 is encouraging because it shows that genre entertainment can still be thought-provoking, original and well-crafted--and that sometimes that's exactly what audiences want.

A 3-Part Memorial to John Hughes

This article originally appeared on Pegleg Spinners, 8/17/09.

Okay, I know filmmaker John Hughes' passing is somewhat old news at this point, but I have a few things to say about the man's work that I haven't yet gotten around to posting (partly because I was on vacation for the past week), so bear with me.

1. God damn it. Another one?

About a month ago, after the loss of cultural luminaries including Michael Jackson, Edward Downes and Walter Cronkite, I called this season "a good summer for death." Now John Hughes is gone as well. (And so is Les Paul!) I think I speak for everone when I say that THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS. Seriously, God, cut us some slack here. I feel like I'm watching the ending of The Departed in slow motion.

2. Ferris Bueller grew up and went into politics.

"This country is on the road to socialism, and that still doesn't change the fact that I don't own a car."

I'm kind of glad that I waited until now to write about Hughes, since if I had written earlier I wouldn't have been able to comment on this Washington Post op-ed piece. Titled "A Mirror Up To the Original Ferris Bueller," the article was written by one Edward McNally, who claims to have been a boyhood friend of Hughes and to have partially served as the inspiration for the character of Ferris. McNally details several anecdotes involving sick notes and expensive cars, but the part of the article that I found the most interesting came at the very end. I quote:

"Edward McNally, 53, a trial lawyer in private practice in New York and Washington, was a presidential speechwriter from 1989 to 1991, and was senior associate counsel to the president from 2001 to 2005."

There's something very appropriate about Ferris Bueller growing up to work in the Bush administration. That's all I'm going to say.

3. Even when he was bad, he was good.

Sure, everyone knows The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and Home Alone, but how many of you have seen Career Opportunities?

Not many, I'd guess. It's a 1991 comedy written (but not directed) by Hughes, starring Frank Whaley (perhaps best remembered as one of the debtor drug dealers in Pulp Fiction) as Jim, a shiftless college-age janitor who gets locked in a Target overnight with beautiful rich girl Josie, who's played by Jennifer Connelly. (John Candy has a cameo as the store's manager.) For years, this movie has been one of my favorite bad movies, partly because so many parts of it are inexplicably corny and nonsensical. Jim kills time in the store by roller-skating in his boxers and a bridal veil. There's a completely pointless subplot about Jim's father eating leftovers. The oddness kicks into high gear when Jim and Josie get taken hostage by two of the most over-acted burglars I've ever seen onscreen.

Still, I'd be lying if I said that I only enjoy this movie for its flaws. Despite the rampant cheesiness, there's something very appealing about Hughes' script, both in its Home Alone-like concept and its likable (if cartoonish) characters. Hughes had a knack for making mundane day-to-day routines seem like adventures, and it's that gift for which he'll rightly be remembered.

RIP. (You too, Les Paul.)

Search Engine Roundup--#1 Is a New Fetish!

This article originally appeared on Pegleg Spinners, 8/7/09.

Maybe it's wrong for me to keep going back to the same source for post fodder. Maybe I should have found some new album or obscure horror movie to use as the basis of today's article. But hey, I was taught never to look a gift horse in the mouth, and when you're looking for insane shit to make fun of, the internet is Black Beauty wrapped up in a shiny red ribbon. That's right--it's time for more search engine terms!

As we've mentioned before, Wordpress allows us to monitor what search engine terms have led readers to our blog. Usually those terms are pretty closely related to the content we provide; for example, here are the search engine terms for a fairly normal day:

Nope, nothing wrong here. All of these things relate directly to articles which have been posted on PLS. However, we often see search engine terms that not only don't relate to anything we've written but also make us question both the sanity of the searchers and the existence of God. "Sperm sharking," for example. [Involuntary shudder]

So, without further ado, here are the top five weirdest search engine terms of the past week:

#5: "big peg leg circus"

I have no idea what that would be, but it sounds amazing. I'm picturing a circus run entirely by pirates, with pirate ship rides and colorful birds and concession stands that sell rum and other stands that sell the tickets that are used to buy the rum because for some reason you can't buy the rum with regular money. Sorry to disappoint you, random search engine user, but if we could make this wonderland real we would already be living there.

#4: "womenwithtits"

I'm not sure where to begin with this one. Couldn't you just have searched for "tits" and assumed that the "women" part was implied? Couldn't you have used the spacebar? And I would really like to know why this is what comes up when I Google Image Search this term:

"Womenwithass"? Seriously, internet, what the fuck?

Anyway, searching the entire internet for boobs and ending up at this blog is, I believe, the textbook definition of an epic fail.

#3: "sniffing gay balls"

Geez, title one post "The Traditional Sniffing of the Balls" and all the weirdos come out of the woodwork. What makes the balls gay? Do gay balls smell different from regular balls? Only one way to find out, I suppose...

#2: "reasons to have sex"

#1: All the cool kids are doing it. #2: It's a good way to rebel against your parents. #3: It burns calories. Seriously, though, if you need to be convinced then you should probably stick to celibacy for now.

And, finally, our big winner for the week:

#1: "japanese sleep sharking videos"

You know, this doesn't seem that bad. If sperm sharking means jerking off on people in public, then sleep sharking must mean jerking off on people while they're asleep, right? Hey, I'm from Connecticut; that kind of thing happens all the time around here. Sorry, Japan, but you can't shock me anymore.

Wait a minute...

You win again, Japan. I never should have doubted you.

Will an "Alien" Prequel Save Us from the Worst Idea Ever?

This article originally appeared on Pegleg Spinners, 8/3/09.

As I've mentioned before, I'm a film major, and being a film major I tend to pay closer-than-average attention to the movie industry. Specifically, I follow blogs like /Film and FilmJunk. Normally I wouldn't want to bore PLS readers with the type of inside-baseball news those sites offer, but a recent story they posted has given me a glimmer of hope for humanity: Apparently director Ridley Scott is going to be making a prequel to his 1979 horror movie Alien.

If Scott's name isn't familiar to you, his movies probably are; besides Alien, his filmography includes Blade Runner, Thelma & Louise, Gladiator and Black Hawk Down. Not all of his movies have been great, but he's certainly established himself as a very talented filmmaker. Make no mistake, however--my enthusiasm for his Alien prequel has nothing to do with whether or not that prequel will be good.

No, I'm thinking back to November of 2008, when it was announced that Scott would be directing a movie version of Monopoly.

Yes. This.

Yes, the board game.

Now, making a movie based on a board game is a pretty fucking stupid idea to begin with. But when that movie--which is supposed to be a family-friendly comedy--is directed by the guy who brought us Black Hawk Down's find-the-vein-in-the-wounded-soldier's-leg scene, that's--well, as /Film put it, that's just the Worst Idea Ever. That's like Quentin Tarantino directing a Care Bears reboot. That's like Barack Obama starting a gangsta rap career. That's like trying to have sex with a garbage disposal. Not good.

Seriously, brand recognition is the only way that movies get made these days. Studio executives pick products people already like and produce film versions--and who can blame them when this strategy works so well? I can't count how many times I've heard someone say, "I don't know if the new Transformers/GI Joe/Land of the Lost/etc. movie is going to be good, but I'll definitely see it because I watched the show as a kid." What? Ten years from now it'll be, "I don't know what Air Conditioner: The Movie is about, but I'll definitely see it because boy do I love air conditioning!"

You're so money, Air Conditioner, and you don't even know it.

Anyway, I'm happy to hear that Ridley Scott is directing an Alien prequel because that means he might not have time for the Monopoly movie. There are already some signs that this could be the case; Monopoly isn't currently listed on Scott's IMDB page, or on IMDB at all, for that matter.

So, to summarize, I'm optimistic for mankind because one unoriginal, creatively bankrupt idea might prevent an even more unoriginal, creatively bankrupt idea from coming to fruition. Hooray for Hollywood!

What do you guys think? Is this news exciting or just depressing?

Sign My Petition and Keep Cannibal Mutants Out of Washington!

This article originally appeared on Pegleg Spinners, 7/24/09.

A simple man

I'm a simple man. All I really want to do on this blog is make fun of obscure horror movies and share meaningless anecdotes. I don't think that's so much to ask. Yet it seems there's always something stupid going on in the US that forces me to get off my duff, click the "Political" category tab and take a stand.

In this case the match to my powder keg is the "birther" movement, which is kind of like a bowel movement except more disgusting. Birthers are the people who claim, against all available evidence, that President Obama was not born in the US and therefore is ineligible for the presidency. This is wrong on many, many levels, but the worst part of the whole issue is that it distracts from the real threat America faces today: Republican politicians who may actually be cannibalistic mutants.

Rep. John Campbell (R - CA)--Artist's interpretation

Now, I know a lot of you are going to say that there's never been any indication that members of the GOP gather at subterranean black masses and sip human blood to sustain their youthful figures. And that may be true. But think about this: No Republican politicians have ever provided proof that they are not monstrous ghouls that feast on the living, nor have any of them even denied such an allegation. What are they trying to hide?!

Loyal readers, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the Republican/undead flesh-eater agenda is gaining a chokehold in Washington. Members of the Ghastly Old Party make up about 40% of today's Congress, and one of their numbers even managed to get himself illegitimately installed in the Oval Office.

But there is hope! If you recognize the threat that these subhuman hell-spawn represent to our way of life, then there is one thing you can do to stop them: Sign my online petition! It's free, it's quick, and it sends a strong message to America's leaders that we don't want representatives who will devour our children instead of kissing them in photo-ops. Act now, before the cannibals overrun the Capitol and the IRS knocks on your door asking for an arm and a leg--literally.

Still not convinced? What if I told you not only that Republicans are hideous abominations who will kill us and roast our corpses--but also that some of them, unlike our President, weren't even born in this country?!

CANNIBAL MUTANT TERRORIST MUSLIM!

And if some of you are thinking of leaving comments saying that we should be focusing on substantive political issues rather than outlandish conspiracy theories with no basis in fact:

Congratulations. You're sane. But sign the petition anyway, just for funsies.