Wednesday, November 26, 2008
The message of Beauty and the Beast is, I believe, that what’s inside counts more than one’s outward appearance. But I think Disney undercut that message by making the Beast so damn sexy. I mean, look at him. He’s all buff, well-dressed, covered in a majestic mane. I’m just saying, if I was, I would. You know?
In fact, all things considered, the Beast is a catch. He’s smart, caring, rich as fuck. Even if you have a problem with bestiality (c’mon, loosen up! It’s 2008!), you still have to admit that Anna Nicole Smith has married less attractive men. (Too soon?) And to sweeten the deal, he turns into a really handsome guy after… I don’t know, after some curse is removed or something. I haven’t seen the movie in a while.
But the point is, how high are Belle’s standards? If the Beast had stayed beastly, would she have wanted to remain just friends? “Sure, he’s nice and all, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life coughing up hairballs.”
Is that too graphic? I’m sorry.
In the original fairy tale, the Beast is supposed to be really hideous, like Jeff-Goldblum-in-The Fly hideous. Disney even had some original Beast concept drawings that were scrapped for being too scary for little kids. At least, that was the reason given. In reality, the writers decided that having a beautiful woman like Belle fall in love with a physically unattractive guy was just too unrealistic. Then they moved on to the singing-dishware scene.