Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Beastie Boy

     The message of Beauty and the Beast is, I believe, that what’s inside counts more than one’s outward appearance. But I think Disney undercut that message by making the Beast so damn sexy. I mean, look at him. He’s all buff, well-dressed, covered in a majestic mane. I’m just saying, if I was, I would. You know?
     In fact, all things considered, the Beast is a catch. He’s smart, caring, rich as fuck. Even if you have a problem with bestiality (c’mon, loosen up! It’s 2008!), you still have to admit that Anna Nicole Smith has married less attractive men. (Too soon?) And to sweeten the deal, he turns into a really handsome guy after… I don’t know, after some curse is removed or something. I haven’t seen the movie in a while.
     But the point is, how high are Belle’s standards? If the Beast had stayed beastly, would she have wanted to remain just friends? “Sure, he’s nice and all, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life coughing up hairballs.”
     Is that too graphic? I’m sorry.
     In the original fairy tale, the Beast is supposed to be really hideous, like Jeff-Goldblum-in-The Fly hideous. Disney even had some original Beast concept drawings that were scrapped for being too scary for little kids. At least, that was the reason given. In reality, the writers decided that having a beautiful woman like Belle fall in love with a physically unattractive guy was just too unrealistic. Then they moved on to the singing-dishware scene.


Uconn'11 said...

While I'm open towards extreme cynicism towards Disney, I think this one is a little too far. Disney is a business first and foremost and they are not going to be able to market a children's movie with a disgusting creature. So while the Beast lacks artistic value, I somewhat doubt Disney's alterior motive to keep hideous creatures away from beautiful girls with the fear of what ramifications it could have to society.

MH said...

I don't think Disney is trying to influence society. I just think bestiality jokes are funny.

ShadowX81 said...

Well, that value was certainly reflected in "The Hunchback of Notre Dam"; a movie whose message seemed to say "If you are the goofy lookin dude, the apsolute best that you can hope for is that the girl of your dreams stops throwing fruit at you long enough to realize you are a nice guy and befriend you out of pity. Right before running back to her cocky jock boyfriend."